MAP07: NETIQUETTE
"When thou enter
a city abide by its customs." -- The Talmud
The Internet is made up
of more than computers and commands. All of the computers and commands would be
useless if it weren't for the people who used the computers and commands. The
commands are neat, but it is the PEOPLE who make the Internet what it is.
The problem is that every
grouping of people develops its own culture and common rules that governs the
behavior of the people.
Today's lesson is going
to give you an insider's look at how to avoid some of the mistakes that EVERYONE
makes when they start out on the Internet. If you can take what is said in this
lesson to heart, you are going to find that your travels on the Information Superhighway
are going to be a whole lot smoother.
The following "Netiquette"
guide (that's the common way to describe the etiquette of the Internet) was written
by my father, the Rev. Bob "Bob" Crispen. I think you'll soon see where my sense
of humor comes from :)
In fact, it was because
of my dad that I first got onto the Internet (I got an e-mail account so that
I could e-mail him and ask him for money).
NETIQUETTE
by the Rev. Bob "Bob" Crispen
(Patrick Crispen's daddy)
One of these days you're
going to get tired of Web surfing or listening in on LISTSERVs, IRCs, Usenet newsgroups
or whatever, and you're going to want to say something yourself. At that moment
your life will change. Let's see if we can't make that a change for the better.
Evangelism:
Everyone is tempted from time
to time to evangelize, to stride boldly into the enemy's camp and throw down the
gauntlet. We will never see the end of people who pop up on comp.sys.intel praising
Macs and Amigas; who send mail to the SKEPTIC list that flying saucers really,
truly do exist; who enlighten the Buddhist newsgroups that they're all bound for
hell, and on and on.
In the entire history of
the net, no one has managed to do this without looking like a complete idiot.
If you believe you are the one person who will succeed where millions have failed,
then you're ready to learn about ...
Flames:
There is nothing you can say
that won't offend somebody:
>It's a bright,
sunny day today.
You filthy *@!?$, what have you got against Seattle?
Flames (violent verbal expressions
of disapproval), misunderstandings, overreactions, and hurt feelings are par for
the course. Four lessons from experience:
- Hedge your bets. Rather
than saying, "Metal rules! Death to all that oppose!!" try saying "In my humble
opinion (often abbreviated IMHO) metal bands perfectly express my feelings, choices,
and lifestyle. Your mileage may vary" (another net cliche', less frequently abbreviated
YMMV). By the way, BTW is another frequent net abbreviation, for what it's worth
(FWIW).
- Apologize. When misunderstanding
is the culprit, and especially if you respect the person who misunderstood, take
the blame on yourself for being unclear, apologize, say what you meant more clearly
(if appropriate) and put it behind you. As in real life (remember that?) people
who are quick to anger are often equally quick to forgive.
- Avoid flame bait (conduct
which gravely offends the norms, mores and folkways of a particular group). "Now
wait a minute!" you say. "Do you mean that something that's accepted behavior
on one list or newsgroup will draw dozens of stinging, ridiculing comments in
another?" I sure do. What can you do? Lurk a while before you post. Read what's
said like an anthropologist, trying to discover what the big no-nos are. The beginning
of a school term is a wonderful time to do this, as you will observe the clueless
newbies who weren't smart enough to read this paragraph being torn to shreds.
There are some things you should NEVER do, and we'll list them in a minute, but
let's get to the last bit of advice.
- Bow down to the group's
gods. In every Usenet newsgroup and listserv mailing list there are old, grey
heads who have earned the respect of everyone in the group. For example, amongst
the subscribers to the list discussing the late American bandleader Stan Kenton
are the producer of a Kenton box set and the authors of definitive Kenton biographies
and discographies. You are entirely ignorant compared to those people. Never pretend
you're anything else. They would dearly love to help you -- to answer a question,
help you find a rare record -- but you'll always come out second best in a head-butting
contest with them.
Still other group members have
earned their status through long service. Friendships have developed over many
years, and marriage is not unknown. By commenting abusively to or about one of
these gods, you'll earn not only her enmity, but the enmity of all of her friends
-- which may be everyone in the group but you!
Dos and don'ts (or how
to avoid most flames):
| (1) DON'T include the entire contents of a previous posting
in your reply. |
(1) DO cut mercilessly. Leave just enough to indicate what you're
responding to. NEVER include mail headers except maybe the "From:" line. If you
can't figure out how to delete lines in your mailer software, paraphrase or type
the quoted material in. |
| (2) DON'T reply to a point in a posting without quoting or paraphrasing
what you're responding to and who said it. Reason: a dozen postings may occur
between the original message and your reply. At some sites your reply may get
there before the original. |
(2) DO quote (briefly) or paraphrase. If the original "Subject:"
line was "Big dogs" make sure yours says "Re: Big dogs". Some REPLY functions
do this automatically. By net convention, included lines are preceded by >
(greater than signs). Some mail editors and news readers do this automatically.
Others require you to do it manually or set the "indent character" to >.
|
| (3) DON'T send a message saying "Why doesn't anybody say anything
about X?" or "Who wants to talk about X?" |
(3) It's always a risk to start a new topic (often called a
thread). The group may have just finished a long, bitter war about that very subject.
But if you want to take the risk, SAY SOMETHING yourself about the subject you're
raising. |
| (4) DON'T send lines longer than 70 characters. This is a kindness
to folks with terminal-based mail editors or news readers. Some mail gateways truncate
extra characters turning your deathless prose into gibberish. |
(4) Some mail editor tools only SEEM to insert line breaks for
you, but actually don't, so that every paragraph is one immense line. Learn what
your mail editor does. |
| (5) DON'T SEND A MESSAGE IN ALL CAPS. CAPITALIZED MESSAGES ARE
HARDER TO READ THAN LOWER CASE OR MIXED CASE. |
(5) DO use normal capitalization. Separate your paragraphs with
blank lines. Make your message inviting to your potential readers. |
| (6) DON'T betray confidences. It is all too easy to quote a
personal letter in a posting to the entire group. |
(6) DO read the "To:" and "Cc:" lines in your message before
you send it. Are you SURE you want the mail to go there? |
| (7) DON'T make statements which can be interpreted as official
positions of your organization or offers to do business. Saying "Boy, I'd sure
like to have one of them Crays" could result in a truck at your loading dock and
a bill in the mail even larger than your student loan. |
(7) DO treat every post as though you were sending a copy to
your boss, your minister, and your worst enemy. |
| (8) DON'T rely on the ability of your readers to tell the difference
between serious statements and satire or sarcasm. It's hard to write funny. It's
even harder to write satire. |
(8) DO remember that no one can hear your tone of voice. Use
Emoticons (or smilies) like :-) or ;^) -- turn your head counterclockwise to see
the smile. You can also use caps for emphasis or use net conventions for italics
and underlines as in: You said the guitar solo on "Comfortably Numb" from Pink
Floyd's _The Wall_ was *lame*? Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND???!!! |
| (9) DON'T make a posting that says nothing but "Me, too." This
is most annoying when combined with (1) or (2) above. Ditto for "I don't know."
|
(9) DO remember the immortal words of Martin Farquhar Tupper
(1810- 1889): "Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech." |
A word to people living in the United States: the net is international. If you
tell a Belgian she's being unAmerican, SHE ISN'T OFFENDED. OF COURSE she's unAmerican;
you're unBelgian. She doesn't care about being lectured on the First Amendment
and American values. She doesn't HAVE a First Amendment, and she thinks Belgian
values are BETTER. We Americans have made fools of ourselves by forgetting this
everywhere else. Let's try to behave a little better on the net.
Finally, many groups have
had the sense to write down some of their norms and folkways in a frequently asked
questions (FAQ) list along with (what else?) the answers to frequently asked questions.
Many Usenet FAQs are posted monthly or so on the news.answers. Listowners of listservs
are often quite willing to mail you the FAQ for the list. In fact, they may have
already told you where it is in the letter you get welcoming you to the list.
With all we've said above,
and with all the help newsgroup moderators and listowners are providing to newcomers,
it almost seems like you'd have to work at it to go charging in with your mouth
open and your eyes and ears shut, thereby aggravating and alienating some otherwise
perfectly nice people. The good Lord gave us two eyes and two ears and one mouth
to remind us of that very thing. But he gave us ten fingers, and here we are.
| This lesson is from the
Roadmap workshop. The complete
Roadmap Workshop is available at Paula's UNCA site.
These Roadmap files were
converted to HTML by Neil Enns. If you have any
questions, comments or thoughts, please email them to me and
not to Patrick.
Patrick Douglas Crispen
PCRISPE1@UA1VM.UA.EDU
The University Of Alabama
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED
IN THIS LETTER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA
- TUSCALOOSA
ROADMAP: COPYRIGHT PATRICK
CRISPEN 1994. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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Last Edited:
Matrix Magic  questions@matrixmagic.com
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